


Good Distractions

by SonoSvegliato



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Go insane, M/M, make it rain, throw some glitter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-22
Updated: 2017-04-22
Packaged: 2018-10-22 10:05:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,810
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10694772
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SonoSvegliato/pseuds/SonoSvegliato
Summary: When Hunk is finding solace in late night food goo, he is not expecting Pidge to join him.He certainly does not expect to be asked what he is most afraid of.They come up with a plan - not a very good one, but it's something.They just need a really, really, good distraction.





	Good Distractions

**Author's Note:**

> Um, I don't know how to do this? I've never used AO3 before.  
> ADVENTURE.  
> Some cursing. Because I do that.  
> Sorry not sorry.  
> If this comes out as a bunch of code, I'll be sad.

He was rummaging through the kitchen at some ungodly varga, wondering what he could make out of 10,000 plus year old space goo.  
Honestly. Did this expire?  
It was dark in the Castle, and while Hunk was admittedly afraid of the dark, there were other lingering fears. He’d woken from a nightmare in a cold sweat, and he was afraid that if he closed his eyes again he’d melt back into another bad dream. There was only solution: warm milk. Only, milk apparently didn’t exist in space. Even if cows did.  
Cold space goo would have to do.  
He sat on the counter – there wasn’t anyone to tell him not to (Allura) – while he ate.  
He’d dreamt of falling.  
A really stupid thing to dream about, and nothing particularly traumatic. It was nothing compared to the dreams Lance told him about. There weren’t any people screaming, or planets exploding, or soldiers dying, or paladins bleeding…  
He just woke up to damp sheets and his shirt sticking to his back, jolted so fast out of his nightmare that only his beating heart seemed to remember it.  
The Castle creaked and groaned, and the more he was the awake the less his resolve to be alone in the dark in an on creepy building and oh god did he really allow himself to be the white guy in a horror movie?  
The Castle is safe, he reminded himself quickly. There were alarms and stuff. No vengeful spirits. Hopefully no Galra intruders.  
Still, roaming around the Castle late at night wasn’t really relaxing. Even if he was really only sitting in the kitchen. If he concentrated, he could hear footsteps.  
Footsteps?  
No, no, no. No footsteps. Just imagination. There shouldn’t be any footsteps. No one else could be wandering around at this time splice, right? Right?  
Unless there was an intruder, or a creature, or Coran –  
“Midnight snack?”  
He screamed and kicked out at the figure who materialized beside him.  
“Ow- shit – Hunk – it’s me – what the fuck, man, it’s Pidge!”  
Hunk put a hand over his chest. “You could’ve given me a heart attack!”  
“Well, you could have given me internal bleeding,” Pidge snapped, rubbing her side.   
“Don’t go and surprise me like that!”  
“I didn’t know you were so violent.”  
“I’m not violent, I’m just scared of the dark.”  
“And the Bogeyman.”  
“I do not believe in the Bogeyman.”  
She smirks. “Slenderman, perhaps?”  
“No.”  
“Creepypasta?”  
“No.”  
“Tyrannosaurus Rex?”  
“No.”  
“Then what are you scared of the dark for? At least I have good reasons. I had a dream that my brother fed me to that dragon from Shrek. And then I saw this Scooby Doo movie with the Lochness monster in it, and I haven’t looked out the window at night since I was eight. Which reminds me. We can totally be the Mystery Gang. That’s a thing, right? Mystery Gang? Yeah.”  
“What?”  
“I just made the connection today. We have the whole crew. You’re Shaggy.”  
“Why are you – “ Hunk started, but didn’t get to finish.  
“You’re scared half to death by anything, and I wouldn’t put it past you to have said ‘zoinks’ once or twice. I have the worst. I’d be Velma. When I first realized it, I offended myself. But the evidence is there: glasses, short hair, even the turtleneck – ack, I hate that word almost as much as I hate the word belly, it really puts me off, like an overstuffed pack of fruit snacks – high-necked sweaters/sweat shirt things. I’m modern Velma. Look at me.”  
Hunk didn’t deny it. “Uh…”  
“You see it, right?”  
“I mean, I guess? But, Pidge, how does this matter?”  
Pidge leaned against the counter. “Guess who’s Daphne? Guess. Guess. Fucking Keith.”  
Aaaand Hunk was scared of Pidge, too. She must have cracked.  
“He’s Daphne. Keith’s Daphne. I can’t really explain it. Cold as a bone. You know what his mullet looks like? Carol Brady’s from the Brady Bunch, but in black. Dark brown? I don’t know the difference. Have you ever watched the Brady Brunch? It’s kinda old.Wait, nevermind, we were talking about something else. What was it? Right, right, thanks, the geese. I’m fucking terrified of geese. Mystery Gang! Shiro would be Fred.”  
Hunk blinked, and a jolt of surprise ran through him. No one really talked about Shiro, not since… since… He didn’t want to dwell on it.   
“Can you imagine Shiro in ‘70’s clothing? With tie and flare pants?” Pidge laughed. “I can’t get it out of my head, now. Fre’ds the leader, Shiro’s the leader – “  
And then she burst into tears. No warning. Just like that.  
Hunk didn’t know what to do. He was used to being the one crying. He didn’t know how to handle other people crying. He had trained himself to prevent other people from crying. Pidge’s face was all crumpled up and she was crying. And now he felt a little like crying because crying is contagious.  
Pidge sniffed uncontrollably, wiping her cheeks with the heel of her hand. “I’m s-sorry. I d-don’t want to cry.”  
And then she cried some more, so Hunk picked her up and set her beside him, because that seemed like something safe to do.  
“I just don’t w-want him to be l-lost again,” she finally managed, looking down at her bare feet.  
“We’ll find him,” Hunk assures her.  
“We don’t know when, or where, or how, or under what conditions –“  
“We can think about that later.”  
“Later,” the Green Paladin repeated bitterly. “Then what does that leave now?”  
Hunk didn’t know.   
Pidge scoffed when he didn’t reply. “We’re an absolute fucking disaster.”  
They sit silently for a while, with nothing but the sounds of the Castle’s night noises and Pidge’s hitching breath.  
“Hunk,” she starts, “I appreciate you.”  
“…Thanks?”  
“I do. I really do. And I want you – I want you to know that I’m here if you wanna talk.”  
“Okay,” he replied awkwardly, because he didn’t know what to say to that. He wasn’t that good in social situations. Especially serious social situations. He’s not prepared!  
“I just mean – I can’t find Matt and my dad.Lance is homesick. Shiro’s gone. Keith’s part Galra and ultra emo. Allura and Coran have lost their entire civilization. The universe is literally oing up in flames around us, and people we don’t even know are trying to kill us.”  
“Maybe we don’t have to throw ourselves a pity party?”  
Pidge shook her head. “I just…I just want to know what’s bothering you.”  
“Me?”  
“You have to be more afraid of something than you are of everything else.”  
He shrugged. “I miss Earth, I guess?”  
“We all do, though. It doesn’t know where we’ve gone. Is there anything that has to do with you in particular?”  
“I’m not going to search for something to be sad about. I don’t like sad people.”  
“Huh?”  
He nodded fervently. “Sad people make me really uncomfortable.”  
“Sorry.”  
“Nah. It’s not like you can help it. But we shouldn’t just roll around in our own personal hells. Maybe life is terrible. Maybe it isn’t. You know?”  
Pidge clenched her fist. “I think so. We could – we could do something about that.”  
“Like paint the Blue Lion red and the Red Lion blue and see what Lance and Keith do.”  
“Yeah! Wait, no. No!”  
“Why not? I think we should film it. Do you think they’d even notice”  
“We need something else…to pull ourselves together…a distraction of some kind.”  
“Obviously. We’re sitting on a kitchen counter in the dead of night, and you just referenced Voltron, the universe’s only hope, to Scooby Doo. Who is Scooby, anyway?”  
“Lance.”  
“Lance?”  
“Yeah.”  
“…I don’t know why, but I see it.”  
Pidge waved it away. “We aren’t talking about Scooby Doo anymore, though. We need a distraction. A really, really, good distraction.”   
“I am Shaggy,” Hunk gasped. “I’m scared of everything, but could totally be bribed with snacks –“  
“Hunk, focus. This was your idea.”  
“No, this is your idea. What is this? A secret mission? Project Positivity? What do you want to do, o around giving people pep talks? Oh, yeah, I’m sure they’ll enjoy that. We’ll confront Keith about his dark inner soul?”  
Pidge squints. “You’re on to something.”  
“I am?”  
“Both Keith and Lance are extremely negative.”  
“Even Lance?”  
“He get’s all –“ she waved her hand – “bitter. And Keith is way too emo for his own good. Probably knows Black Veil Brides’ “Never Give In” by heart. I only know that song because Matt had a phase, by the way.”  
“Okay. Two negatives. But I think everybody has got-”  
“And you know what two negatives make?”  
“Pidge.”  
“A negative and a negative repel each other. Or make a bigger negative. Or a positive, if your subtracting. Don’t subtract. I hate subtracting negatives. A less than nothing and a less than nothing make a something – I had such a freaking problem with Quantum Physics, Rutherford and Bohr’s Planetary model for at atom really fucked me up. Thanks a lot, Max Planck, for making me have an existential crisis.”  
I thought we were going somewhere, and then we weren’t,” Hunk admitted.  
“Keith and Lance are necking. Sucking each other’s faces. Punching each other’s mouths with their mouth.”  
“I don’t think I’m following. On anything.”  
“Keith and Lance have sexual tensions.”  
He leaned back. “You’re kidding me. No they don’t.”  
She nodded. “I’m completely serious.”  
“You think they like each other?”  
“I know it.”  
“They’ve been rivals since Day One! Lance said it himself!”  
“Exactly. Very serious stuff. Remember when Keith cradled Lance in his arms? After I saved everybody’s fucking useless asses?”  
“I do recall getting a certain crystal –“  
“Keith. Cradled. Lance.”  
“Oh, dear god. You’re right. They’re evolving.”  
“I know!”Pidge exclaimed. “Keith is developing human sentiments, and Lance can very well act on his. Things have gotten to be perilous.”  
“What do we do?”  
“Enter Project Can You Not Feel the Love Tonight.” Pidge pointed at herself. “Codename: Timone. And you, my friend, are Pumba.”  
“Wasn’t he the pig?”  
“Warthog.”  
“Why am I the warthog?”  
“Because I’ve got to be Timone. Lance is Simba.”  
“Why’s he Simba?”  
“Because he’s Simba, and Keith is Nala.”  
“Why’s Keith the girl lion?”  
“Because I made him be the girl lion, that’s why.”  
“Pidge, do you have a good idea?”  
“Of course I do. When have I ever had a bad idea?”  
“I think you’re mentally unstable.”  
“Teetering right over the damn edge, mate. Are you with me or not?”  
Hunk looks at her, long and hard, before pushing himself off the counter and heading back to his room.  
“Hey! Where are you going?” Pidge calls after him. “You didn’t answer me!”  
“I’m going to bed. You should, too.”  
“You didn’t even say goodnight!”  
“Goodnight, Pidge.”  
“Goodnight, Pumba. I’m taking the rest of your food goo.”


End file.
